Sober Artist Feature #1: Doormouse

Hit Record And Throw It Down The Stairs

I have a bit of a personal story that I debated including in this entry, but Dan is quite outspoken about public health matters and helping others, so I feel he wouldn’t mind some well-intentioned inside baseball in the ether at this stage.

Once upon a time, after hitting up the Cosmo Skate Park in Columbia Missouri, I went to his show nearby, and he had his live drummer with him, which was always super cool when the worlds collide so masterfully with traditional drums and the electronic drums of the more left-field subgenres. I was pretty jazzed up too, coming out of a great day of skating and ending the evening with whom most would say is the capstone artist of the US breakcore movement. Certainly the midwest. It was already packed before he even started playing. People were moshing without music even lol. He grabs me, all super friendly, and lowkey tells me he needs me to bring him beer. I was like, “You’re the headliner Doormouse, ffs, this is your concert; you can get your own beers for free.” He didn’t want the bartender or a wait staffer bringing him beer, and he was very intent that it had to be me personally bringing him the cocktails, and I didn’t understand why at all at the time. He also needed me to set them on the very edge of stage left on the floor behind some things. I thought it was really weird at the time and chalked it up as quirky artist shtick, but now, having been in recovery and treatment for more than 10 years (co-occurring gang woo woo, lol), I extrapolated the heck out of it and came to a conclusion that fits with the theme of this entry.

From my personal experience. Before I even discovered it, let alone fully committed to recovery and treatment, I was aware that there was a problem, but that still couldn’t stop me from self-harming. It had almost become my brand in the latter stages. A shameful brand, but shame still wasn’t enough to override that all consuming compulsion which, in hindsight, was an aweful lot more work than just addressing the underlying trauma causing it, but looking inside can be scary. I believe that was what was going on and is likely a common stage for those of our circumstances. Now, having gone through that myself, I can attest to it being a very challenging and confusing time. If you or if you know someone covertly still with their toes in the water or outright chronic relapsers in that hell cycle, I feel it is important to have patience, support, and understanding. Remember that if everyone was a miracle, or for the less supernatural-minded, if everyone was a statistical anomoly, as those that do make it back absolutly are, evidenced by every bit of empirical data set, then there would need to be a whole new standard for outliers, and what would this new normal even be? I suppose more simply explained, it’s just not normal to make it out, and that sucks real bad. The longer you do this thing, the more glaring that bleak fact becomes, but it is of utmost importance to never forget that there’s an incredible beauty in that rarity of us that rise above our circumstances, and as statistical anomalies, we are in a unique position in that it knowing what we know from first hand experince it would be extremely hypocritical to give up on those who struggle as we did.

Some would write off Dan and say, “That guy’s not going to make it because he’s having someone hide cocktails around the stage lowkey so his doctor wife and 4 kids don’t find out if addendees snap pics.” Sometimes though, that’s just someone new on the recovery path and still getting their bearings. I personally feel that the fact they are hiding it is recovery progress because they clearly recognize it’s a problem, which is sort of in line with the first step of 12 in that you know there’s a problem and some folks just need some more time for putting what they already know into action. I know I did.

Just look how daddy he is now, and this video is super cool. Doing weight exercises while smashing a controller set in his own gym! People can learn a thing or two from Dan; he overcame some struggles, and he still knows how to have fun by colorfully engaging in the culture quite masterfully peerless. He’s also a lot more consistent now days than that time he fell through the table at Furthur Fest all those years ago, lulz.

His Juice WRLD (Rest In Punk) remix at 38:50 is chicken noodle soup for the breakcore soul

Big ups to Kurt & team for keeping it 100 for the underground culture still, even if now hyper-rural-based.

Even Further Wisconsin team circa 1996
Even Further Wisconsin posse circa 1996

Keep up with Dan Doormouse at:

his label

his gym

sounds and socials

*If you are an artist in treatment and/or recovery or know one who would like to be featured in one of these type of joints just hit up that contact form.-z